Chili with Dave Ramsey

I am taking a financial class with my aunt once a week. She gets off work, we eat dinner at my house and then head to Willard. This week, Chili. My recipe is based on my pantry. This week I had more beans then meat. We had dinner. Chili with corn chips and sour cream. Then off to class we go. The class is a 60 minute DVD and then discussion and it is held in this very small meeting room off of the library. There is one long table, a TV, a sink and a restroom in the corner. You know what is coming next … beans, an hour later, small room with several people sitting next to you … I needed to fart. I am sitting very still while watching the DVD, butt cheeks squeezed together, praying no noises slip out before the movie is over so that I can go to the restroom. If I go now, they will stop the DVD and wait on me so I just sit, squeeze and wait. Finally, it is time for a break. I get up and go to the restroom. I have to pee. I have to fart. I think, turn on the water and flush the toilet so that no one can hear the fart. What if it is one of those loud long farts and it last longer than the flush? What if it stinks? It will all be built up in this very small bathroom and when I open the door it will push through and surround the table of people sitting just outside the restroom. I will be like Pigpen on Charlie Brown but instead of dirt hovering all around me, it will be the fart. I will be know as the chubby girl at Dave Ramsey that farted. Have you ever tried to pee and hold in a fart? I sit there a bit longer and then do what any lady would have done. I get up, squeeze my checks together again, wash my hands and go sit down with the others. I don’t say anything during the discussion because I have to concentrate on the squeezing and the stomach pains. When the discussion is over, I pack my things up very slowly so that everyone leaves before my aunt and I. Then we step outside and it happens. I relax and just let it out … it is not a fart, it is a toot. No noise. No smell. I suffered through and hour and a half of Dave Ramsey and heard nothing he said and all I had was a toot. A silent no smell toot. I get in the car and my aunt says, “no more chili before Dave, I had to fart the entire time.”