You will be missed Grandma Pearl

My husband's Grandma died this week. It is sad. She was 93 and was always very nice to me when I moved to Columbia. No judgements. Just accepted me into her family. It is funny what you find out about family when they die and you read their Obit in the paper. Why doesn't anyone tell you about your family why they are alive. When people die, it makes you think that you need to Live every day to the fullest. It reminds you that you have family that you need to stop taking advantage of and go see. You always hear people say things like "you will be missed" but in reality, if you never went to see them while they were alive, the person that died had probably already started missing you. People get upset with themselves because they let so much time go by, they stopped sharing their lives with people, they stopped visiting with people. OK, maybe a text now and then ... but that is not real communication. People have so much to give these days (and i don't mean money or objects) and we just don't take the time to find out what it is. What are we so busying doing? When I get back from Columbia, I am going to visit my Grandma. I MISS MY DAD. Don't wait too late to get in touch with, go see ... or just call and talk to that person, the one you assume will always be there. Make amends. Say your sorry. Get back in their lives .... before you are saying about the next person "you will be missed" or "I should have visited more." Thank you for accepting me into your family Grandma Pearl.

to push or not to push

How do you decide what to let your kids (or grandkids) do? Or should you push them to do things. Gymnastics, dance, soccer, volleyball, swim ... and on and on and on. You want them to be well rounded but not so busy with activities that they have no time for friends, family and relaxation. I am a huge soccer freak. I want Jamie to play soccer. She did a summer mini kicker class but sometimes she seemed to like it and other times not. should you make them try everything or how do you choose? i love to watch soccer, tennis and basketball, is that what I send her to? she loves music, do i let her play the piano or wait until they offer it in school? I do not want her to be one of those kids who does a couple of things but only does them half way. I want her to be a happy healthy kid who enjoys herself whatever she does.

Gotta love camp

I saw the most amazing thing today. I went to Camp Barnabas to pick up Hayden. I saw teenagers excited about spending time with other teens or younger kids that had Cancer or misc illnesses. They didn't care what they were wearing or if they had the right look. It was just enough that they got to spend a week with them and help them have one of the best weeks of their lives. Canoeing, camping, swimming, fishing, dancing and many more activities. Each camper had a counselor. They sang songs, celebrated God and had a great time.

Nothing really to say ...

You ever wake up one day and realize that you are just sad. Tired of being sick and not able to take care of your mate when they are not feeling well. Tired of spending so much energy on those who should be taking care of themselves. Do you ever feel like the life has just been completely drained from your body. That old saying "live for today" isn't as easy as it sounds.

The smallest Angel

Since I have been out of the hospital I have had to use an inhaler. The simplest things take my breath away. Walking to the mailbox. Harvesting the garden. Taking a shower. Everyone was in the front room watching TV so I decided to started my daily ritual. In the bedroom and bathroom I begin. Wash my face. Brush my teeth. Take medications. Then shower. I am all soaped up and ready for the rinse cycle when it hit me. No more air ... having trouble catching my breath. I turn around ready to yell for someone one to bring me my inhaler when the shower door opens. I stand there water pouring over me, grasping for air ... she giggles and says "Granny whatcha doin'?" Once again, she saves me from myself.

Here comes the Bride

Who knew that you could get on the Internet and 15 minutes and $30 later you can be an ordained minister. Well I found out this week that there is an ordained minister living in my home. Tuesday we had a wedding ceremony in our front room. I know, when you think of a weddings you think church or park, candles, flowers and decorations. The wedding at my house was like everything else in my life ... very different. We start with the bride and groom who i have met twice and as far as I can tell they had only met five times before the ceremony. The bride's thirteen year old son, who lived with us for several months. The groom's eight year old grandson. The bride's sister who is the Internet minister. The bride's nieces, one of whom is my granddaughter, me and three dogs. The bride and groom stand facing each other in the front room with the boys standing up for their parents. A beautiful background of our breakfast dishes on the dining room table, luckily I received a few vases of flowers when I was in the hospital that were sitting on the table, so we did have flowers . The minister standing in front of them with her spiral notebook, the dogs running up and down the hall barking and playing and me and the girls sitting on the couch. And the ceremony begins. Do you take him ... do you take her ... they are staring into each others eyes, the girls are looking at the bride and groom with odd looks on their faces, probably wondering why every young girl gets all worked up about getting married if you are just going to do it in the front room and when can we turn Mickey Mouse Club house back on the TV. The boys were having a hard time standing still and not laughing but the love birds were in their own little world. They repeat their vows and Shirley announces "I would like to introduce you to Mr and Mrs .... Kurt and Rachel ....." She looks at me and shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know his last name." I chuckle to myself and wonder, is this really my life and where is the cake? After I thought about the happenings of the day, I decided that if we had it to do again, I would make a couple of changes. I would have let the bride hold my hospital flowers and instead of the dining room they could stand in front of our cucumber archway in the garden, they could have cut the zucchini bread that my mom made and feed that to each other and we could have all washed it down with a mug of best choice diet root beer. The ceremony ended, the TV came back on and it was like it was just another day.

The ride of a lifetime

Wednesday was the first day of camp for Hayden. He got a full scholarship to go to Camp Barnabas for a week. We had one car in the shop and two people who couldn't drive. My sister offered to drive us down to camp. She drives a 2009 Honda Pilot. White. Not a speck of dirt inside or out of the car. We load up. Me and Jill in the front, Hayden and Jamie in the back. Jamie decided to ride along just for the fun of it. We head out and before we even get off of our street, Hayden opens up the door and throws up. He didn't get anything on the car. We back up to the house and stock up on double lined walmart bags just in case. And we are off again. We make it about 15 minutes from camp it all started .... Hayden has his head completely inside the walmart bags throwing up. I have to roll down my window so I don't vomit and I tell Jamie to just look out the window. Jill doesn't say anything but I am sure she is completely freaking out because they aren't really germ people and someone is throwing up in their car. So we continue on down the road .... me with my head out the window, Jamie saying "why do i have to look out the window?" Jill saying, "you owe me big" .... what is the smell, why do i have to look out the window, are we there yet, you owe me big, what is that smell, can i stop looking out the window, what is that smell ... finally we arrived at camp , we cleaned Hayden up with wet wipes, and sent him off to have a good time. we got the car cleaned up, Jamie feel asleep on the way home and Jill and i just chuckled on the drive home. Jill dropped us off at home and from the mouth of the 4 year old, "thanks for letting me go, it was fun." Oh to be 4 again ...

The knife was not so nice.

I checked in on Tuesday, July 7 and was beginning to wonder if I would ever check out. The surgery went well, it was after the surgery when everything fell apart. Blood pressure went way down, blood sugar went way up which neither matters when you stop breathing. I just got home on Sunday Night. A two day stay turned in to a ICU all liquid diet six day stay. It is good to be home. When you have all day to just lay around and think about things, you realize that the two statements, "keep it simple" and "it is the little things that matter" really are true. I had a hard time sleeping without my husband there. I missed getting awakened in the mornings by Roxy rubbing her cold noise on my arm. "Good morning Granny". Rudy and Daisy chewing on my toes while I am peeing. It is funny the things you miss. I am glad to be home.

Going under the knife.

Mean, hateful and bitchy ... that is me. But today i have woken up as someone else. Today I am being admitted into the hospital for surgery. I have to go in one day early because of my blood sugar levels. I am scared. Almost embarrassed to admit it but yes scared. The last time I had surgery was on my right shoulder. Torn rotator cuff. It was an outpatient surgery, however, the 40 year old diabetic who has trouble with anesthesia was inpatient for three days post surgery. I have been very emotional lately and have had my feelings hurt alot over the last few days. Is this what happens to you once you get old. You become a big ball of .... cry baby! And that is what I am today ... a big cry baby. My mom is taking me to the hospital and Gary is going to be there to sit with me but people die during routine surgery. I need someone to come over here and slap me up the side of the head. What is wrong with me? And in she walks ... carrying my puppy, Rudy, sleep still in her eyes, she trips over Roxy, drops Rudy and crashes to the floor. Crying like a baby. We sit on the couch together for a muted episode of Handy Manny as she smiles again and sings "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ... " to her Granny. I am still scared but not nearly as much.

Where are the school supplies?

I have enrolled Jamie in Pre-K with the Springfield Public Schools. She is excited about going back to school and I am excited about buying school supplies. I spent a week getting everything ready. Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, Shot records and forms filled out. Today was the big day. We go to finalize her spot and get all of the information and get the school supply list. She will be going to Westport Elementary from 8:30 to 2:30 Monday thru Friday. She needs a couple of shots, we got the calendar and other paperwork including the supply list ... OMG are you kidding me? Four things on the list? No pencils or crayons, no ruler or note books, no glue sticks? Backpack, hand sanitizer, Kleenex and rest mat .... what are they going to be doing all day? laying down resting, blowing their noses and then sanitizing their hands? what is the backpack for, to carry home all the dirty Kleenex? How is she going to learn anything but more importantly ... who am I going to take school supply shopping?

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, this is my birthday month. What I mean by birthday month is .... where are my gifts? It is the 3rd and I have yet to receive any gifts, cards or anything. What is that about? Early in our marriage, Gary spoiled me by giving me gifts, taking me to dinner and surprising me with small gifts all month. Now that we are further down the road in our marriage and we have more people living in our house and we do more stuff all year round, the birthday month has dwindled away a bit. Today though i have had lunch at the Pizza House and dinner at The Roost for a yummy mushroom swiss burger and the back rub is about to begin so I am accepting that as my first birthday month gifts. I will keep you up to date on my birthday month progress ... and if you need a list or my address ... just let me know. Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday day to Honey, Granny, Jennifer ... Happy Birthday to ME!